[the first last goodbye]

These past few days were beautiful.
amazing.
memorable.
relaxing.
perfect.

I've been looking forward to Palm Springs, just because of the simple fact that I knew that I'd get a chance to relax a few weeks before finals.
And it wouldn't be a weekend of relaxation that I'd have to plan...i.e. Senior Cruise.

Driving up late was so fun.. I love my family: Trip, Kayla and Kevin G. Too many laughs.."because i got high".."s**t, kayla!"

After arriving there, I love that we ARE a family, the big ASB mess. People were all over the place, playing "drinking" games, watching baseball, out shopping, cuddling.
It was officially then that I realized:
I am so comfortable with all these people. There's no awkwardness that I felt, walking around and saying hi to whoever I wanted to.

I love laying out. Saturday day was fabulous.

Now the debrief...

As Coop introduced the debrief, by saying that everyone will talk, she also said that we are a less serious group. looking around, I realized how much love was just already in the room.

Catherine beginning to speak was the moment that I realized:
This is all ending.

The last time I can remember a feeling similar to this was at Leadership Retreat..when it was:
This is all beginning.

That was when I started to feel emotional.

I was told that I am strong.
beautiful.
intimidating [love you asia].
freaking hilarious.
a constant friend.
an instant best friend.
strong.
that I can just love on people.

I wish I had said all that I wanted to say.
It's a lot of pressure to try to say every powerful emotion you have from this past year
for a room full of people you just couldn't love more
during my last year at vanguard.

I can't believe it's almost over.
4 years of investing a lot of love and laughter in truly incredible people, in lifelong friends
1 year of working alongside people
months of walking into the Bridge, letting it become my second home, an amazing place to find people who I love and care about
many events spent supporting my fellow directors at their events..beautiful memories
student council meetings that I never dreaded, and just cared about following along with what was happening
activities board meetings laughing and helping each other learn
class council meetings working with some of my favorite people
one on ones spilling my heart out, and hearing others' stories
working through my stuff with the best support system anyone can ask for.

I could've gone another 6 hours in that room, with those people.

"I can't believe he's gone
I can't believe (we're) going
I can't believe this family must die

I can't believe this is goodbye.."