[definitions.]

The beginning of a relationship is different for every couple. There usually is a pattern that is followed, no matter who the people are though. There’s a friend phase, where you try to hide your feelings. Then there’s the “We think we like each other” phase, where people begin to notice there’s something going on. During this phase, you deny that there really is anything going on.

Then there’s the moment that comes, that brings everything to a head.

It’s when you realize that something should change. You want to know for sure if this person really does have feelings for you.

You want to define the relationship, or DTR it.

There’s butterflies in your stomach, uncontrollably flying around. There’s the scan of the area around every few minutes, looking to see if there are people you know watching you or worse, judging you. There’s the stare down at the ground, a way to refocus your thoughts and say what you mean to say.

There’s the look in the other person’s eye. You can begin to feel rejection, as the talk starts to go down a road you dreaded. You start to see yourself eating Golden Spoon, explaining why the DTR didn’t go as you planned. Or, as it was in the DTR that took place in my life one year ago today, hope.

As I remember this day, and dread this date for happening once more, I feel the same feelings once more. Why is it so much easier to remember the good things about a relationship than the bad things? A good DTR can be just as memorable as a bad one. DTRs change relationships, because they change the direction of the interaction between two people.

My relationship that resulted out of this particular DTR eventually went through more DTRs. As a couple, we found the need to constantly clarify what direction we were headed. However, things happened in our relationship that did not go as we had originally planned. The relationship that we started at the original DTR and the relationship that broke my heart 8 months later were completely different. I was a different person, and he had changed as well. Our relationship was centered around ideas and defined by ideals that we had never dreamt of originally. As I think about the relationship that resulted from my DTR, I can’t help but wonder: What are we really defining?